Why Marriages Fail

Marriage and Family Meditations XXXII

Psalm 104:34    May my meditation be sweet to Him; I will be glad in the LORD.

Cornerstone Ministries Napa Valley


Marriage–Christ and the Church

Why Marriages Fail

Malachi 2:10

Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously with one another By profaning the covenant of the fathers?

The issues that will be shared in this post will not be new ideas to most of you who read it. We all have clearly come to realize that many marriages do fail. The statistics vary depending on what study or what group you hear from. But … the reality is that most all of us have been affected by divorce and marriage failure. Most of us also realize that there are varying degrees of failure. Many marriages even those who are “Christian” have been extremely dysfunctional and exhibited varying levels of anger, resentment, bitterness, un-forgiveness, unfaithfulness, deceit, and selfishness, which have torn down and destroyed the marriage.  Some which outwardly appeared to be succeeding, were less volatile and but eventually let resentment, bitterness, disillusionment, anger, selfishness and greed which was hidden in their hearts erupt and destroy the marriage causing great harm.

It is abundantly clear that marriages (including Christian Marriages) fail and are destroyed because of sinful behavior and attitudes .

Sin originally destroyed mans relationship with our Creator, and continues to destroy our relationships today. It is clear from scripture that in our relationship with God, and with one another and certainly in the close intimate relationship of marriage our sinfulness has to be dealt with.

The Bible Teaches Us that In Christ We Have the Answer!

Dead to Sin, Alive to God… Romans 6:1 – 14

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.

As Christians God wants us to understand and believe (reckon) that he has empowered us to live in newness of life in Christ. We are no longer slaves to sin, rather we are alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 4: 17 – 24 “This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.

But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.”

The question we need to ask ourselves is are we “learning Christ” or are we continuing in our old ways and the ways of the world. It is our choice and God given responsibility as Christians “in Christ” to “walk after the spirit” and manifest the fruits of the Spirit in our lives, (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) which will obviously build and strengthen our marriages and our relationships in the church.

If we fail to follow Jesus and “put of concerning our former conduct the old man (the flesh)then, we will fail in our marriages because of sin. But… if we put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness, we will succeed and thrive and grow in our relationship with God and one another.

May God grant that we all come to the unity and oneness of the Spirit and abound in the love of Christ for one another and escape (through off) the corruption of the world and the flesh that destroys.

Other Scriptures to meditate on which exhort us to allow God in Christ Jesus to transform our lives:

Ephesians 2:10 ; Ephesians 4:20 – 5:21; Philippians 2:1 – 15;  3:16 – 21; Colossians 2;  3:16 -21; 2Peter 1:3 -9;

1 John 1:3 – 6; 2;15 – 17; 5:1

By reading and meditating on the word we allow Jesus to wash and cleanse us and transform us to make us holy and with out blemish.  May submitting to Him in this way be our highest priority.

Blessings to All in Christ Jesus    Vince

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